The Bad Touch Trio's Pink Pony
by Raven-Shinigami
Summary: In which the BTT are chased by cops, given a ticket for exceeding the legal limit of awesome, and mess with a drive-thru. Warning: Bad Touch Trio (what else?) and head canons. Head canons, head canons EVERYWHERE.


**Long story, I know. But it's just a one-shot.**

**Long story short, my mom played a ****_huge_**** role in making this happen. Not directly, although some might call it that. You see, my mom knew somebody with a Mustang car when she was in high school, and she said that the kid who owned it was always playing hookey and whenever you saw the Pink Pony (the kid's car), you knew that kid was up to no good. And thus, this head canon was born.**

**I'm sorry that they have an American car. It's just a head canon, okay? Please don't kill me, okay? Please? Besides, if you killed me, you can bet Editor C-san would skin you alive for getting rid of me. After all, she's really eager to find out more about my stories. So don't try anything, people. No matter how much my fics suck.**

**Includes the following head canons: Prussia lives in Germany's basement, BTT, Mangary (male!Hungary), and Prussia blogging.**

**Rated T for language. Because the BTT swears (not a lot, just a little). Because they can do that.**

**Sorry, but this was just for shits and giggles. It was all detailed at first, then I just let it go. Whatever. It's funny. Also, the story may go a little fast. Again, it's just for fun, so suck it.**

**I obviously do not own the BTT, Hetalia, or anything else mentioned in this fic.**

* * *

**Introduction to the Pink Pony**

The Pink Pony belongs to the Bad Touch Trio. It is, as its name suggests, pink. It is also a Mustang, hence, "pony." This is no ordinary car; it's very special. But that's only because it belongs to the BTT.

Whenever the BTT goes anywhere together, this is the car they go in. Of course, it turns many heads. An old fashioned _pink_ car with three you adult _guys_ in it? Going unnoticed isn't really all that plausible. It may not even be possible. Then again, the BTT _does_ like to turn heads, so they're cool with that. They're fine with all the stares they receive.

The Pink Pony is also in perfect condition despite its age. However, it _does_ have one door that just won't close right. Not surprising, though, considering the owners of the car, as well as the circumstances in which it "broke," (Prussia's philosophy: it's not broken if it can still close!). The BTT was, as usual, mucking around, and ended up smashing into the car door. It'll close, but sometimes it opens up while they're driving. So, you know, they'll be driving down the highway, goofing around, one of them will go the lean against the door, and it'll swing open, almost sending one of them falling out of the car. They say that they'll get the door fixed sometime, but they never do.

* * *

Prussia sighed, tapping his foot. Where were they? Spain and France should've arrived a while ago. What were those two thinking, keeping the awesome him waiting? Checking his watch, Prussia scowled. 5 minutes late, exactly. _He_ should've been the one driving the Pink Pony. At least then nobody would have been kept waiting.

5 more minutes elapsed, and Prussia was just taking out his cell phone to call the other two when the Pink Pony came tearing down the road, stopping at the end of the driveway (after an incident involving the seemingly impossible pileup in the driveway, Germany had banned the Pink Pony from his immediate yard-the driveway included). Prussia rushed down to the car and at once began demanding to know where they had been the whole time.

"You made me-the _awesome me_- wait for _10 whole minutes!_ What do you have to say for yourselves?"

"All I can say is we got held up in traffic," said Spain.

"That is hardly an excuse! You could have just drove right over the cars?"

"Aw, but then we would have been chased by the cops," France said. "We didn't want the fun to start without you."

Annoyed but temporarily placated, Prussia got into the car. That's when he noticed it: the door had not been fixed.

"Spain! Why is the door not fixed yet?!"

"It's not my fault; France said _he'd_ do it!"

"I said no such thing! You must have been imagining things! After all, we all know that it was _Prussia's_ job to fix it a while ago."

"That seems to imply that it _was_ my job _a while ago,_ and so isn't my job now. That means it's yours, France!"

"That is not what I meant!"

"Hm, Prussia's right, France. You gotta go get the door fixed later today."

"Not my job," France said, turning his nose up at the mere prospect of it. He started up the car and began driving the three of them away from Germany's house. But that didn't mean the argument-erm, _conversation_-was over just yet. For a good part of the drive, the three continued to bicker over whose job it was-and had been-to deal with the broken door.

The three of them finally arrived at a city. This is where they would be hanging out for most of the day. The BTT quickly found a place to get food and went around to the drive-thru. They placed their orders and then, as they finished ordering, put a piece of clear tape over the speaker and microphone. They laughed quietly as another car pulled up behind them. France drove the car up to the window and they all got their food.

Meanwhile, the man in the car behind them was shouting abuse at the non-responsive speakers. The BTT scrolled down their windows and ate their food in the car, amusing themselves by watching the man scream and cuss as the line of cars behind him grew. Since the line wasn't moving anywhere anytime soon, they parked the Pink Pony right in front of the serving window and sat there as they watched the scene unfold.

"Nice thinking with tape there, France," Spain congratulated him, giving him a pat on the back.

"Oh, it was nothing. I just thought that, while we're here, we might as well have some fun."

"We should stir up more trouble for those un-awesome losers!" declared Prussia.

"So, then. What should we do?" Spain inquired.

"I was thinking that we should empty out all of their gas tanks while they are all just sitting there like a bunch of stupid ducks!" In the end, they decided that that was a good idea, so Prussia and Spain snuck out of the Pink Pony and went back in line to a car. France stayed in the car to keep up the appearance of them all being there. With the help of Gilbird, Prussia and Spain successfully emptied out all of the car's fuel tanks into a container for the BTT to fill out their car with later. Giggling madly, the three of them tiptoed back to the Pink Pony and showed France the container filled with the other cars' fuel. France flashed them a thumbs-up and they got back into the car.

They drove away before anybody realized what had happened, laughing their heads off and swerving dangerously down the street.

That's when a car pulled up alongside theirs and scrolled down the window. Inside the car was Mangary (male!Hungary).

"What trouble are you guys getting into this time?"

"What makes you think we're getting into trouble, Hungary?" asked Prussia casually. "We could just be passing through. It's not a crime to just drive through town."

"Oh, I know better than that. Whenever people who know you three see you driving around in the Pink Pony, they _know_ you're up to no good. So tell me, what're you guys up to this time?"

"Look! A green light! Step on it, France!" Prussia said quickly. The Pink Pony drove away from Hungary, despite the fact that the traffic light was, in fact, red.

* * *

"Spain, stop laughing!" hissed Prussia angrily. "We don't want to be noticed!" Unfortunately, this did not receive the desired effect. On the contrary, Spain began to laugh even harder.

"Do you _want_ us to get caught?" demanded France. "Because it sure seems like it."

"Yeah," said Prussia. "Do I have to duct tape your mouth shut or something like that?"

Spain shook his head, covering his mouth with his hands in an attempt to prevent the laughter from escaping.

"Good. Now we can begin." Prussia pulled cans of spray paint out of the sack he'd been carrying. He handed around the cans and the trio got to work "improving" the side of the building. Prussia began by spray painting the word "awesome" in red. He then added "itself was here" in green, making the sentence "Awesome itself was here."

Spain and France were spray painting very different things. Things of great importance, like tomatoes, turtles, and roses.

"Ohonhonhon. They are never going to find out who did this!"

"Kesesesesese. We are too awesome to be found out!"

Suddenly, France began shrieking and brushing down his shirt.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!" he yelled, still frantically slapping at what appeared to be nothing.

"What the hell, France?" laughed Prussia. "What are you freaking out about?"

Finally, France calmed down and replied tearfully, "There was a freaky bug. It landed on me, and it was detracting from my beauty."

Prussia made a choked sound, then sighed, returning to his work. "That was dumb, France. You had the awesome me worried for no reason at all."

"Uh, guys? I hate to interrupt, but-" Spain began. But Prussia cut him off.

"Then don't interrupt. I am putting the finishing touches on my awesome masterpiece!"

"No, you don't get it! The coppers are coming!"

For a moment, nothing happened. Then, Prussia uttered out a quiet "Da fuck," and the three of them violently exploded into action, gathering up their cans of spray paint and frantically shoving them into the bag.

"Into the Pony! Into the Pony!" yelled Prussia, and the trio rushed to the car.

"Drive, France, drive! They're here, they're here!" screamed a hysteric Spain. France hastily started up the car and swung it around into the road. He pushed down the gas pedal-hard-and the Pink Pony rocketed away from the oncoming police car. The three men high-fined and laughed madly as the police car began to recede in the rearview mirrors.

After that brief rush of adrenaline, things soon quieted down, as the pursuers were no match for the speed of the Pink Pony. They cruised along, arms hanging out of the windows and the music turned up high. At one point, however, Spain almost fell prey to the broken door when it randomly popped open, very nearly sending the poor country off the side of a bridge. After an event involving much screaming, cussing, yelling, and overall chaos, France and Prussia managed to pull the unlucky nation back into the car.

They drove onto the highway, the two in the back horsing around and France up front drinking wine. Eventually, Prussia noticed what France was doing.

"France! Stop drinking wine, you'll get drunk!"

"But it's not 'drunk' if you only drink wine!"

"What crazy world are you living in, France?! Alcohol is alcohol, no matter what form it's in." Spain added his voice to the conversation, which began to escalate rapidly into a full-blown argument. Finally, though, Prussia convinced France to trade places with him. Mainly because he took the keys out of the ignition, threatening to hold them hostage until the two of them traded spots.

Prussia and France got out of the car and switched spots. Then, Prussia started the car back up again and began to drive down the highway. Meanwhile, the three of them didn't notice a highway police patrol officer creeping up on them. When they finally saw the flashing lights, they began freaking out, wondering if they were gonna lose the car for stopping dead center in the middle of the highway.

The police officer got out of the patrol car and walked over to the Pink Pony. Prussia debated making a break for it, then thought better of that. After all, the cop could just get the plate number and deal with them that way. The trio quickly composed themselves and Prussia prepared himself for answering the cop's questions.

The officer reached the window, and that's when the unbelievable happened.

"I know you," he said, smiling. "You're that guy from that blog! Yeah, you're from The Awesome Prussia Blog!" Prussia forced a smile and nodded.

"Yes, I am the awesome Prussia," he said casually. "So, what's the deal here?"

"I'm sorry, but I'm just going to need you to sign here; you're exceeding the legal limit of awesome," replied the patrol officer, producing a paper from his pocket. Prussia hastily scrawled "The Awesome Prussia" on the proffered paper, then sat back as the cop went back to the squad car. He flashed a look into the back of the car that told France and Spain: "See? I keep telling you I'm the King of Awesome, but do you listen? No."

When the man returned from the police car, he handed a small rectangular box to Prussia, who stared at it suspiciously for a moment before accepting it. Opening the box, he discovered a brand-new cell phone. He stared at it for a moment, a look of confusion on his face, before slowly starting to drive away. From behind the Pony, the cop called: "By the way, you didn't sign a ticket! I just wanted your autograph!"

He kept talking, but by then, the Pink Pony had driven out of earshot.

* * *

Germany heard a lot of noise outside his house. At first, it had been quiet, like a few people talking, but had quickly crescendoed into a loud and unpleasant racket. There had been several screeching sounds and multiple crashes. By number five, Germany decided that whatever this was was worth checking out.

He rushed outside, preparing for the worst. What he found was not quite as bad as what he had been imagining, but it was right up there. For there, in his driveway, was a repeat of the very thing that had caused the Pink Pony to be banned from the yard directly around his house. There was a five-car pileup there, flaming and smoking. A shocked yet furious expression plastered itself across the country's face. Stalling just beyond the destruction was the Pink Pony, with the BTT sitting in it, watching what was apparently first-class entertainment as the cars burned (fortunately without their owners).

"PRUSSIA!" roared Germany. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

The trio stopped laughing and slowly turned to look at Germany. Identical looks of horror spread across their faces, and they just sat there, staring dumbly. Finally, when Germany started storming towards the car, Prussia took the wheel.

"Hurry up, Prussia!" screamed France and Spain at the same time.

And the Pink Pony sped away, its occupants howling in amusement.

* * *

**Hehe, get it? _Horsing around_ in the back of the Pink _Pony?_ Damn, Rae-Rae's bad at puns, isn't she?**

**So, was it pretty good for a shits-and-giggles fic? Was it? Was it? Anyways, Editor C-san is pushing me to write about the Fujodanshi Trio's car, so look forwards to that tomorrow or sometime soon after that.**

**I get that I suck, but I really hope for some feedback. After all, this is only my second funny fic, because I suck at all things bright and happy. That's also why it's only a one-shot. If I stick with something funny for too long, it starts to fall apart. It just deteriorates, okay?**

**Next up on my checklist: the Fujodanshi Trio's stalker van!**

**After that, I'm planning on going back to other fics, although I might ride the tide of light and happy feelings that I've been having recently in order to start another funny fic. It will be about France convincing the countries to put on a play, which he writes. After that, the countries get together (they all make temporary peace with each other) just so they can butcher France's play. Needless to say, France will be pissed off about this, but it's not like he can argue against every single country in the world.**

**So, yeah. Please tell me what you think. Imagine Editor C-san is breathing down your neck, looming over you, waiting, waiting, waiting for you to review... Or an angry Romano. Whichever motivates you more (I know that C-san works to motivate me to write-which one motivates you to review?).**

**Anyways, this is me, ending my dumb and ramble/idiotic author's note. Which I still don't know how to do.**

**EDIT:**

**I just realized i forgot to do the horizontal lines to separate out sections of the text. I've added them in now.**


End file.
